Speak Like Your Idols, Become What you Want

they're not worth listening to that's good information
1:0721 I do I told him something that would find
1:12me more trustworthy in his eyes I told him that you know what
1:16last year I had a seminar with mister Tony Blair
1:20and he told me the exact same thing your woman
1:23and you're given a seminar to me or with me I'm so glad the futures
1:28here and the preface and the professor look at me and he told me
1:39okay so you're somebody but the funny thing is
1:43I made him want to listen to me and that's what I'm talking about I'm
1:47a communication consultant I teach people the art wanting people to listen
1:51to you
1:52and the first man I wanna show you as Martin Luther King
1:55he's the one who people tell us that we should talk like you should go to your
2:00brothers and sisters and colleagues to tell them
2:03I have a dream there's nothing wrong with that way
2:06Martin Luther King spoke but I think you should find
2:10the Martin Luther King in your world so that's the first question
2:14I ask people who is martin luther king in your world
2:18and in my world my Martin Luther King was
2:22my elementary school teacher can wanna
2:25can allow she was smoking
2:28a pipe she had long blonde hair and she had caliber
2:33posh look and I remember the first week in school
2:37she told us there she is and that's me
2:42on the top I hated being the top I was tallest one in the class
2:46somebody asked me if I was a boy I think that's not fair
2:49anyways at the first week
2:52she gave us a great task she asked us
2:55what do you want to be what you want to do for a living
2:59when you grow up I was seven years old I had no idea what I wanted to do
3:04and my mother she's from Brazil she's very dynamic and passionate
3:08she told me lane you should go to the stubborn saying get inspiration
3:12I grew up in the suburbs and I went to the first magical place I knew at the
3:17time
3:18the candy store and I stood there for half an hour
3:23looking at the female working at the Campus Store she had the poster
3:27other precedent she was always eating the candy
3:31while she was working as you have this book and I was about seven years old I
3:35was looking at her thinking
3:36that's the best job in the whole world and I went back to school
3:42and I had my first presentation and Aston frontman
3:46in front my class telling all my classmates when I grow up
3:50I'm gonna work at the candy store
3:55Carolina she didn't look to you she was actually worried about me
3:59she was smoking her pipe in the back in the classroom and then she came to me
4:04stood at her knees shemale she said
4:08Elaine you're not gonna work at the candy store
4:11you're going to be an author I had no idea what that was at the time
4:18but my first bestselling book at Dominion techniques
4:22I actually dedicated it to my teacher Carol A
4:26can I wanna know something that all I should know
4:29something about personal leadership she was herself
4:34as opposed to the professional robot
4:37a lot of us are professional robots when we worked
4:41and I don't know if you met a professional robot you know when you go
4:45to
4:45as to where you want it by phone
4:49Amy salesperson ago hello you feel
4:52hi you don't want to meet a professional robot you wanna be a person
4:58so my Martin Luther King in my world is
5:01catalana she made me want to listen
5:04to what she had to say so in order to make other people want to listen to you
5:09think about who is martin luther king in your world doesn't have to be
5:12politicians
5:13actually I don't think politicians are good communicators
5:16at all just for the record
5:20so don't be a professional robot
5:23be yourself that's the best thing you can be but you have to think about what
5:27people think when they see you
5:29I keep my first step into communication
5:33the year 2001 that's when I started my first day
5:36to my bachelor degree and communication
5:40and I remember sitting at the University waiting for the first speaker
5:44they're worth about 200 students sitting listening
5:48well trying to listen this tall man
5:51when up States any started talking for 10 minutes
5:56and we can hear word he said why he had a scar
6:00across and that was only thing
6:04we could think about he'd refuse to tell us that he had a scar across your face
6:09he refused to tell us where he got it from and that was the
6:13we think we could think about after ten minutes he gave up
6:17and he told us I got this car
6:21in a car accident in the seventies my name is Bill
6:25you know what I never forgot his name
6:30third quarter to make people want to listen to you
6:33you have to put your looks in perspective you need to know what people
6:37think when they see you
6:38before you say anything just like it was when I met this professor in Berlin
6:44I remember when them I had a
6:49I had a seminar to Swedish television and
6:52once again they were wondering wear a sling
6:55racism and that we're waiting for this Elaine even sound like a man to you
6:59no not really have some people think ally or something
7:03him and they were waiting for a lane
7:06and I'm so happy about my granddad arnett my granddad he was born on the
7:1128th
7:12and he was kinda rough he always taught me if you want men
7:16to listen to you you need to know what the boxers
7:19you I was like what do you mean what the boxers do well you know the boxers
7:24they always jab jab with jab
7:27well jab it means that you need to hit a little I
7:30just a test the strength that the other person and that's what we
7:34we men do all the time we hear each other verbally
7:38and what you're supposed to do is to hit back I had no clue about this did you
7:44well probably all men did but with the women we didn't
7:47so I tried my first jab
7:51six years ago I had a seminar for Swedish television
7:54and I was about to have it and the bank was waiting for a lane and i was
8:00standing in front of him
8:01and he was like yearly and I said yes I'm away
8:04he say wow that's amazing asset well
8:08yeah it's pretty amazing and any tell me
8:12so when were you born in
8:15yesterday in that's a jab
8:18and what i do. and how about yourself
8:23polishing your coffin
8:28and history action was quite nice he was like who
8:33because then he fell okay she's strong enough to handle
8:36the percent is a Swedish television the only thing that happened that I wasn't
8:41prepared a
8:42was I got another jab or maybe a knock out when I started my seminar
8:46I was about to accept myself in front of all these people
8:50and this female rose her hand she said Elaine
8:54I don't really know why I should listen to you you're still
8:58young I don't feel motivated and I don't know about you guys but have you ever
9:04met people who speak further
9:06with their eyes closed and that taught me about body language
9:11and I didn't know what to do she thought I was too young
9:15and maybe she didn't think I was friendly now so I tried to smile maybe I
9:19became this professional robot to her
9:21so I tried to smile sigh just my letter
9:24but her ice for called and I heard myself say well you're perfectly right
9:30i'm not as old as you are
9:36she looks so angry and I didn't know how to find myself after that
9:40and the other people in the audience started laughing
9:43she didn't but afterwards she the clanking
9:47for too many said I really like your job you're giving knock out sometimes
9:52maybe you could be our rhetorical expert I said okay
9:55have you ever heard those nervous laugh
9:58people give them all the time is that rhetorical trick
10:03that I hear when I coached people had to make people listen to them
10:06I the main thing that any two races the nervous laugh
10:10when they tried to convince people that they're right and they say you know this
10:13is really important
10:14it's not a good thing
10:17I'll but in order to handle
10:21comments like these you too young your female
10:24your matter whatever unique you put yourself in perspective is a good or bad
10:30to look the way I look what is your scar
10:32when it comes to making people want to listen to what you say kiss
10:36people will hear word they will just look at you and they will think
10:40either your trustworthy or you're not and they'll make the decision you need
10:44to handle it
10:45so personal leadership one good word that you could
10:50remember is copia I don't really know how to pronounce it is lacked in
10:56but it means that if you want people to listen you should
10:59study though who are being listened to
11:03what are they doing do I speak to a debut
11:07or do I or Dona I I when I said
11:11and comment our politicians 310
11:14sometimes I sit with male experts
11:18and one thing I noticed that a lot of men
11:21take their time and television there's only one problem
11:25when you in the media there is no time but if you take your time you come
11:30across as more trustworthy
11:32as opposed to a lot of you my love us we we tend to
11:36we tend to speak really fast so
11:40what happened this guy get this expert get
11:44question from the journalist and he goes there's two ways
11:52we can look at this the first thing is he
11:56really took his time and I'm like she this it's not you can speak this slowly
12:00when you're in television
12:01so what did I do I started speaking
12:04really really fat asses sports commentator and what happened
12:08I became less trustworthy because if you speak too fast
12:13is like your excusing the message that you want to send people
12:17so don't speak fast this morning I was in television
12:21again and I try to do the opposite you know what happen
12:26journalist asked me a question I when
12:29and the mail
12:32expert next to me he started Obama
12:39get it right so we should do is study those
12:43who are being listened to but don't do it their way I'm not saying study Martin
12:50Luther King go to college to say I have a dream
12:53and study the way he speaks do it
12:57but do it your way and maybe sometime you can take their place
13:01it's not a bad thing and I think I did
13:05thank you